... for Lady Pride
Dear L,
It's been so long...
Like every member of an oppressed class, you yourself participate in the insulting of others like you, hoping thereby to make it obvious that you as an individual are above their behavior.
Congratulations! o/\o
The amount of righteousness you show just to pump yourself a little higher than the other bitches—what you do to distance yourself as much as possible from this shameful position called woman—it’s disgusting. You try to keep your mouth clean and pretend that you don't suck dick. Let's not fool ourselves, we all suck dick one way or the other. Some of us suck it directly and some of us suck it “indirectly” through careers and honorable titles—the little miserable victories of the western capitalist gals, à la #girlboss Nasty Gals.
Ugh, as if! >:\
The fact is that we all suck it, yet you pretend not to and by distancing yourself from this “shameful” labor, you also distance yourselves from the other shameful laborers. As you step over the women who remind you of your immanent structures, you elevate yourself in class. Most despicable is when you take pride in this distancing, as if you, an individual, above all the structures, have managed to escape the production and circulation of desires and commodities under capitalism and patriarchy, as if your superiority did not come with the structures of your land, or with the structures of your upbringing, or with the structures of your class, or with the structures of the color of your skin—but instead are something you’ve achieved as an individual, just because you are better, just because you have worked harder than the rest of us, just because Hon, you’ve deserved it!
Wish you were here :$
You have escaped from the wretched sad hole of womankind! You have a career and you are so proud to be rubbing shoulders with the upper management sector, laughing with the big boys—you must be better than us after all! But you forget that under capitalism the structures of the “workplace” are the same exact structures of the family of the white man—even if your boss happens to have a vagina.
Honey, you’ve made it! *\0/*
You have worked so hard to get to where you are! You deserved your supremacy! While we deserved our failures; we’ve asked for our inadequacies—or so you say. But you have not gotten far, in fact, your structural blindness and your vain superiority sets you far behind Nothingness in the game where there is no “getting ahead” to begin with. But somewhere deep inside you of course know this and that is exactly why you are so eager to get rid of us, your embarrassing, angry sisters, so that the soap bubble of your pride can stay intact and carry you above the rest of us.
Good luck! :-|
You define your work as superior labor by condemning all the rest for our weakness or “heartlessness,” for not choosing to make ourselves independent of the “abusive” man, or for calculatingly relying on them for the exchange. What you miss, as you are blinded by your little managerial, artistic, romantic, and academic victories is that you are just as dependent on the same abusive men, the only difference is that you deal in the veiled exchange. The division of women’s lot happens when we start to take pride in our oppressions. Through your little victories you elevate yourself from the women below, from the ones who choose to suck dick directly or have no other choice, who accept exchange without illusions, gravity without grace, fucking without romantics—without promotions, without titles, without sweet talk or roses. Your “privilege” and thus your blindness, whichever you choose to call it, is that you suck dick on the premises, within the upper levels of management—be it familial, commercial, political, or academic. Not only do you suck it on a daily basis, but you also take pride in it, a Lady Pride.
Sorry for your loss :'(
Even veiled exchange can be weary work. Something just does not seem to fit into your princess fantasy. And whom do you run to? To us, your embarrassing, angry sisters. You always have us to transfer your anxieties to, and to help you forget the impossibilities of fair exchange. You have us—who with no illusions, and/or no choices, simply chug along. We serve you both, we suck him and empathize with you, while you simply take pride, your Lady Pride. As we do your emotional labor you get stronger and prepare to move on. But you don't know anything about us, you never ask, you disregard our bottomless hate, desperations and desires, sometimes calling it selfish or unnecessarily dramatic, as if we were your pet bunny suddenly gone mean. But at the same time you demand us to be there and pity you when things go wrong, when the career is a drag and the man is not nice. You want us to listen and feel sad for you, just so that you get your strength back; refreshed by our understanding, you get right back to
your lady pride and move on, leaving us behind. You use our emotions for your knowledge, just so that you can stomp all over us and reach for the bigger man.
Get well! <3
And we listen and we empathize, we feel sad every time, because we know that you too are part of the same structure that we are so disillusioned with. And we listen... because we also know that you suck the same men's dicks whether you know it or not. And we wait for you to wake up, knowing that there is no way to handle our frustration because there is no way to handle it, short of